Yes, those are the excuses I made to get myself off course. However, little did I know at that time that my excuses would be the same reasons God would use to bring this project into fruition. After my dad passed, I felt like my life was falling apart. I was reaching out to "people" who were almost never available. I received a diagnosis that left me crying from one city to another.
I have a friend who has been with my family and me for a long time, who is now a Counselor. No matter how much I reached out to her, she would answer. She was the first person to tell me to start a journal to record my feelings each day. I remember clearly saying to her, "But, I don't want my stuff on my paper." Fortunately, my stank attitude did not deter her from wanting to help me. Even after that, she would still encourage me when I reached out. Thanks be to God!
God has a way of making sure I get the message and confirming for me what I need to do. He does this for you too but, for me, He knows I can be a little stubborn and I sometimes require more work and time than others. With this, He blessed me with another friend who never ceased to pray for and with me when I reached out to her. I can honestly say, she has inspired and encouraged me in so many ways; ways she does not even know. She told me she had petitioned God on my behalf and His word for me was to start writing down how I feel. To God be the Glory!
Me being who I am, I still did not do it. Remember, I didn't want my stuff on paper. I was afraid someone would see it and begin to judge me or look at me differently for the issues I had. I had an image to uphold and therefore, I ignored the assignment. It wasn't until I this year when I actually began to move on this. I had heard it twice from to people who mean a lot to me. But, when my pastor began to talk about the season of "First Fruits", and wanting God to do amazing things for you and the people around you, I was convicted. See, this is my platform for release but your platform to receive.
The blessing of this project is two fold. I get released and you get blessed. Isaiah 55:11 tells us, "So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it". In other words, sharing my story with you is sowing seeds into your future, knowing that God word is true. He never makes a promise He can/will not keep.
Glory to God, He has brought this project into fruition. We know that Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 states, "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
With this being said, I could not be released for this project, until it was time. My challenge for you today is to set a schedule and stick to it. It doesn't matter how many times you have to start over; or how many times you stop. Stick to the plan. For the Bible tells us in Ecclesiastes 9:11, "The race is not given to the swift nor the strong but he who endures (suffer, last) until the end (the finish line).