Malik Edwards - Front Cover Design
Sandra Hawkins - Back Cover Photo
Thurman Lee - Music
Kaynetta Robinson - Front Cover Photo
Tonia Lashley - Prayer
Thank you Team Tonia for making this dream reality:
Malik Edwards - Front Cover Design Sandra Hawkins - Back Cover Photo Thurman Lee - Music Kaynetta Robinson - Front Cover Photo Tonia Lashley - Prayer
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Many times people attach themselves to us for different reason. Some reasons we may never know. If you are anything like me, and I believe you are, you have had some friends who started out with you. But, look around now they're gone. This behavior we may never understand.
However, there is peace in knowing it didn't just start with us. Psalm 41:9 reads ,"Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up his heel against me." Not just that, Jesus lets us know that Luke 6:16, also shows us another incident of betrayal, "And Judas the brother of James, and Judas Iscariot, which also was the traitor." I have my share of questioning why people do what they do. More importantly, I've had my share of betrayal by people whom I have been loyal and good to. Believe me, I know it is hurtful. But, I also that we can move pass it. Sometimes in life, in order for God to move us to our next level, we have to go through some things. For example, God had to literally break my heart into pieces, when I lost my dad - 2014, in order to get me here. My here right now is being able to encourage and bless someone else. Scripture tells us in 1 Corinthians 1:9, "God is faithful, by whom ye were called unto the fellowship of his Son Jesus Christ our Lord." To me, this scripture means no matter what happens in my life, and no matter what I do, God is loyal, constant, and stedfast. In other words, I don't have to worry about someone I am not to keep God around. I don't have to worry about being manipulated in order to have a friend. I must say God has been just that to me. You see, my turning point in life started around November, 2005. It was then I learned the man who had told me he had done wrong for so long, he wanted to do right had decided, he had done right so long he wanted to do wrong. Yes, you read this right. This was the first domino to be pushed that would force me into obedience. For the next nine (9) years, I would experience unbelievable pain. During this time any and everything that could happen, happened to me. But, just as the word of God says in Joshua 1:9, "Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." When I look back at this time in my life, I can honestly say God had to be carrying me. If it were not for Him being faithful to me, even when I wasn't faithful to Him; I would not be here today. For this reason, I believe I owe God so much I must tell my story. I must not sit on what God has done for me. You see, I know what I went through was not just for me. How do I know, Luke 8:39 tells me so, "Return to thine own house, and shew how great things God hath done unto thee. And he went his way, and published throughout the whole city how great things Jesus had done unto him." So ladies as you push through this week; go in peace, knowing that God is faithful and He won't turn His back on you. Be encouraged! For those of you who do not know, discernment is defined as perception in the absence of judgment with a view to obtaining spiritual direction and understanding. One of my greatest blessings is the Spirit of Discernment. I got it, yes I got it. Some of you may have it as well but for some reason, you don't call it what it is. In the secular world, you may define discernment as, "a gut feeling". I'm not the one to judge how you define discernment but I will be the one to encourage you to call it what it really is. Being able to discern good from bad is a great thing. But, in order to do so, we must spend time with the Lord. We can't just arbitrarily call something or someone bad just because. 1 John 4:1 says, "Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world." If you are in right relationship with our Father, there is no need to be afraid to try the spirit. Remember, He has already paved the way according to 1 Thessalonians 5:24, "Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it." Let me warn you though. While a spirit of discernment is one of the greatest gifts we can have, it is also one of the loneliest. In other words, when you are able to effectively discern, you will find yourself in a position of caution. For example, as a woman, when Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome steps to you; you know, what you think is your dream man. The one who makes your heart flutter, you better try the spirit. Now, that doesn't mean you can't converse with him. However, it does meant that you should listen and not just hear what he's saying. I feel someone saying right now, I am going to do what my heart says. Ok, that's your choice. But, let me let you in on a secret. In 2000, I felt the same way. Little did I know at that time, my heart had a defect. It was still broken and I probably would have accepted anything. So yes, I fell for the "I've done wrong so long, I am ready to do right line". Unfortunately, his do right was limited to five years. I gave away five years of my life not knowing he wasn't ready. I thank God today that even though it ended, it wasn't a total waste. In hindsight, I know that this was the man that God used to start my season of reciprocity. You see, he did to me what I had done to someone else. That is why Galatians 6:7 is one of my favorite scriptures, "Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." Can I tell you how stupid I really was. It had been 10 years, and can you believe I thought I had gotten away with it? But God proved to me at that very moment, His word in Numbers 23:19 is true, "God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good?" All I'm saying today is don't get caught up in the beauty of the package. Instead, take the time to open it. But, don't just open it, try the spirit and see if it fits. If not, then we must do like Johnny Cochran did in the infamous O. J. Simpson murder trial, "If it doesn't fit, you must acquit." In other words, if their God is not your God then sister girls they should not be in your life. Please hear me when I tell you this. Letting go may seem hard at first. But, if you truly want to get what God has for you, you have no choice. Not everybody can go where you're going because everyone won't appreciate what you're doing. My gift of discernment is:
No matter how much we think we have healed, there is still some pain. Pain is the thing that turns our hearts and minds to Jesus. Sadly to say, for some of us its only because of pain we take the time to talk to God. But, if you're like me, I like to talk to God before the pain comes, while the pain is here, and yes, after the pain is gone.
Today, I am a little reluctant to say too much. You see, I don't want anyone to think that because I openly expose my experiences that I have it all together; because I don't. There are still some days when my present experiences take me t o a place where my past experiences once held me down. Of course, it doesn't change the fact that I know who God is; and that I love Him with all my heart. Instead, it helps me to realize that even though I know God is working on and through me; and even though He has made some crooked places straight, there is still some healing to be done. I believe God has so much more for me to do. Unfortunately, I am still not clear on what it is. Sometimes I wonder if I have even tapped into the gift God has given me. Whether I have or whether I haven't, I am going to keep tapping because I know more sooner than later I will hit the right spot, and God is going to honor His promise in Malachi 3:10, "Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it." No matter the broken places, no matter the lingering pain; God is faithful to His word. He says Isaiah 53:5, "But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed." This scripture is basically saying to us, that God has already taken the beaten for us and that no matter what we He is there to make us whole. I encourage you to focus on the healer and not the pain. I know that sometimes he pain is so great we can't ignore it, and that's ok. Just remember this one thing, Jesus can't heal what we won't reveal. People tend to judge me from the outside. Unfortunately, most of the time, their conclusion is all wrong. It's easy for someone to look at where you are right now and conclude something about you; when they don't know what you've been through. As they say in the Southern Baptist churches, "I don't look like what I've been through." As I reflect on my life, God has truly blessed me. Genesis 2:7 tells of the very first blessing God allowed me to have, "And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul." I often wondered throughout my life, why? Why would God give me such an amazing blessing; and, I have to go through some of the things I've gone through. Isaiah 49:15 asks and answers the question I used to have; "Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee." This scripture answered the why but, still often asked what? What is my purpose God? What on earth am I here for? It wasn't until I began to embrace Jeremiah 29:11 that I understood, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” To be perfectly honest, this was all good and I know that God doesn't lie. But, I couldn't see or understand what God was and is still doing in my life. Therefore, I will embrace the word in Habakkuk 2:3, " For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry." Although patience is not one of my strong points, I know I have to continue to wait on God. I know that He will make some more new things come into fruition just like He has before. I just have to remember that God's time is not my time; and when I get weary, I turn to 2 Peter 3:8, "But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day." "For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry." Galatians 6:9 I am happy to share with you all that God has blessed me to continuously be able to pour into the lives of those who take the time to read about me and my story. Not just that, God has blessed me to produce a prayer CD entitled, "In His Presence." Some things I never imagined I would do much less see it come into fruition. I want to encourage you to go forth with knowing that God will do what He said He would do. If you are certain there is something on the inside that needs to show up on the outside, keeping tapping. It doesn't matter if you tap into multiple things at once. Just know that one day you will tap the right thing and God will bring your vision to pass. Just remember what the word says in Habakkuk 2:2, "And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it." God is not a man, that he should lie; neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not do it? or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good? Numbers 23:19 Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Psalm 37:4 There is something in life we all want. Whether material or spiritual, it is natural to want more. For me, my list of wants is great. So great, I have no choice but to call into heaven and ask God to intervene on my behalf. Like the loving Father He is, He told me, "no problem baby girl, I got you." But first, I need to know that I can trust you.Trust me? Absolutely you can trust me God.
He then told me to honor my request may cost me. Cost me somethings I may not be willing to give up. You see, when God told me in Luke 9:23, "And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me." I thought no problem God. Little did I know the price I was about to pay for letting go of people and things He no longer wanted me to have. At first, I thought it was going to be a easy. Why? Because I really didn't want it anymore anyway. But, as I walked more and more in His Psalm 37:4 promise, "Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.," I found myself in a place where I had never been before. With this being said, I couldn't imagine the blessings that were waiting on me when I began to walk in obedience to His word and will. I will be honest, it was a struggle. It's almost like needing a tooth extracted. You already know its bad. It causes you constant pain. You can't enjoy your most favorite meals. You know eventually it is going to have to go; in order for you to have a painless, peaceful and enjoyable meal. Finally, you get to that place when you make the decision to do the right thing. It may hurt a little but what's a little temporary pain when you once walked around in constant pain? Look at it in the words of singer/songwriter Betty Wright, "No Pain, No Gain." Even better than that go forth knowing that God will take our past pain and use it for our future gain. Now would you agree God knows what's best for us and He will never let us down, nor will He disappoint us. I encourage you my sisters, trust God with everything in your life. It's not going to feel good at first but, in the end, you will be able to testify to God's word in Romans 8:28, "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose". |
In Memory of: Charles T. Wilcox
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