Let me be honest. I have been away for a while because I have had set back. We don't always know when, where or how the trigger will come but I think we can all agree that at even given moment in our lives, there will be something or someone who triggers that one thing in our hearts and minds that causes us to go back to that place.
I don't know what your place is but if you are anything like me; and suspect you are since you are reading this, we all have a place. A place in our lives that was either good or bad. A place where the memory is etched in our minds that no matter how much work we do, or how hard we do it it seems to never go away. That is where I am today. So, I am going to pour out my heart to God knowing that he hears me even though I am feeling a little anxiety right now.
Dear God, I want to take this opportunity to first thank you for blessing me to see another day. For the angel you assigned to watch over me last night; and for every breath I took that you did not let be my last. I need so desperately Father God to talk to you about something that has me completely baffled.
As you well know Lord, I have this issue at first onset in my life really wasn't that bad. However, as time progressed and things began to happen, I began to see changes that I don't quite understand. I don't know how you go from being on top of the mountain with hands raised to the heavens to now what seems like down in the valley with question marks surrounding everything. You know God my only prayer in life is to know what it feels like to experience human love. I know you love me and it is not my intent to offend you with this request but, it is my desire to release this heavy burden of uncertainty.
Lord, I know anxiety is of the devil because your word tells us in Philippians 4:6-7, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus" This is why I am coming to you today. God you made the promise and I am asking that you will make good on this one; real soon. It's hard for me to understand how being good and doing good can turn into despair.
God you know all about the investments I have made into this situation. You know that I have given it the very best that I have. I have sacrificed so much and received so little so it seems. At this point, I stand with my arms lifted towards heaven asking you God to please have mercy on me.
I know now that when I reach a crossroad, I must surrender everything to you in order that I may receive the return on my investments. I know that this is the only way I will get what you have for me. I don't know why fear is holding me so tight with this one; and making it seem so hard to surrender. But I ask God that you will forgive me for even entertaining this level of fear. I honestly trust you and genuinely believe that you have my best interest at heart. Therefore God, I will not allow the devil to steal what you are working out for me.
Because you have already done great and mighty things in my life God, under no circumstances will I let this be the one to take me out. So God I ask that you will endow me with your strength and your power. Saturate me with your anointing from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. Gird me Lord with all of the tools I need to stay in this fight. Even though my heart is heavy right now Lord, I know you will make good on your promise in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."
I have seen Romans 8:28 work in my own life,"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." I have to be honest though it doesn't always feel good. So God I am asking if you will please be patient with me. Please increase your presence in my life and in this situation. Don't let me be so confused by what is not happening that I miss what is happening. Fertilize this situation with your love and help it to grow into the beautiful thing I believe it is meant to be.
If I slip Lord don't let it be obvious. Instead will you please place your hands between me and the ground that I will not hit rock bottom. With an upward motion Lord thrust me back into the standing position where I will remain just as Moses said to his people in Exodus 14:13, "And Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall see again no more forever."
In Jesus name I pray. Amen!
I don't know what your place is but if you are anything like me; and suspect you are since you are reading this, we all have a place. A place in our lives that was either good or bad. A place where the memory is etched in our minds that no matter how much work we do, or how hard we do it it seems to never go away. That is where I am today. So, I am going to pour out my heart to God knowing that he hears me even though I am feeling a little anxiety right now.
Dear God, I want to take this opportunity to first thank you for blessing me to see another day. For the angel you assigned to watch over me last night; and for every breath I took that you did not let be my last. I need so desperately Father God to talk to you about something that has me completely baffled.
As you well know Lord, I have this issue at first onset in my life really wasn't that bad. However, as time progressed and things began to happen, I began to see changes that I don't quite understand. I don't know how you go from being on top of the mountain with hands raised to the heavens to now what seems like down in the valley with question marks surrounding everything. You know God my only prayer in life is to know what it feels like to experience human love. I know you love me and it is not my intent to offend you with this request but, it is my desire to release this heavy burden of uncertainty.
Lord, I know anxiety is of the devil because your word tells us in Philippians 4:6-7, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus" This is why I am coming to you today. God you made the promise and I am asking that you will make good on this one; real soon. It's hard for me to understand how being good and doing good can turn into despair.
God you know all about the investments I have made into this situation. You know that I have given it the very best that I have. I have sacrificed so much and received so little so it seems. At this point, I stand with my arms lifted towards heaven asking you God to please have mercy on me.
I know now that when I reach a crossroad, I must surrender everything to you in order that I may receive the return on my investments. I know that this is the only way I will get what you have for me. I don't know why fear is holding me so tight with this one; and making it seem so hard to surrender. But I ask God that you will forgive me for even entertaining this level of fear. I honestly trust you and genuinely believe that you have my best interest at heart. Therefore God, I will not allow the devil to steal what you are working out for me.
Because you have already done great and mighty things in my life God, under no circumstances will I let this be the one to take me out. So God I ask that you will endow me with your strength and your power. Saturate me with your anointing from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. Gird me Lord with all of the tools I need to stay in this fight. Even though my heart is heavy right now Lord, I know you will make good on your promise in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope."
I have seen Romans 8:28 work in my own life,"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose." I have to be honest though it doesn't always feel good. So God I am asking if you will please be patient with me. Please increase your presence in my life and in this situation. Don't let me be so confused by what is not happening that I miss what is happening. Fertilize this situation with your love and help it to grow into the beautiful thing I believe it is meant to be.
If I slip Lord don't let it be obvious. Instead will you please place your hands between me and the ground that I will not hit rock bottom. With an upward motion Lord thrust me back into the standing position where I will remain just as Moses said to his people in Exodus 14:13, "And Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall see again no more forever."
In Jesus name I pray. Amen!